cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
