the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize