Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
