Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
