Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
