okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
