If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Dear god my vagina.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
