I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
