You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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