It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
