Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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