He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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