Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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