its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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