I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
