did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
everyone is single if you try hard enough
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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