i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
