That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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