I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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