I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just sent this text using only my big toe
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
