I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize