I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
