This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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