If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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