another moral hangover. fuck.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
