I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im holly from the hills drunk
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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