dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
