Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
