ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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