i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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