Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
