was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
