Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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