I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
