Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
