She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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