Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
