So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
