omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Vodka?
Forever.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
