hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
