you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
