you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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