I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
