you would pick up someone in the library
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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