My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
