Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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