I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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