This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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