Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
they need to just BURY HIM!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
