i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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