Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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