I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we're making bets on your personal life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
