its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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