i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
