How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize