if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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