Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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