worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
