I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
