we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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