Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
nutella sex= disaster
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
