if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
